


Itch

by Vihctoria



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, pos 3x05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:40:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24357454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vihctoria/pseuds/Vihctoria
Summary: − This is your last chance to admit that you like me, Eve, because I'm not going to look for you again. − The blonde’s voice was low and serious, the accent still loaded, which made the other swallow dry. Very slowly, Eve raised her right hand and rested on Villanelle's cheek, repeating the gesture she had made in her home. Just as the other time, the blonde laid her face against the touch.There was something about how Villanelle liked to be touched that made her heart race.Spoilers from 3x05 - are you from pinner?
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 2
Kudos: 94





	Itch

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> English is not my first language, so I'm already sorry if there's some mistakes along the way.  
> If you like good music, read while listening to ''Itch - nothing but thieves'' and tell me what do you think!
> 
> Hope you like it!

[...]  
''On the pavement  
I am looking  
For a lover  
A lover  
And my eyes are rolling  
She noticed  
There's a blood red  
On my shirt  
And it's shining  
Shining  
There's a sharp pain  
From my face  
I kinda like it  
I like it  
'Cause I just wanna feel something real  
Wanna feel something  
[...]

Eve was sitting forward, elbows resting on her thighs, hands covering her face. Being in the hospital again caused her to be unwell, and surrounded by all that white and blue she couldn't think straight. The wound on her shoulder hurt as if it had reopened, but Eve found out she liked the pain. Feeling pain was better than causing it, after all, and somehow it softened a little the guilt she felt.

When her back also began to protest, she lifted her face to the hospital bed, where Niko was. It was a miracle he survived, everyone said. A pitchfork had crossed his neck, but by some divine will, he was still breathing. With the help of braces, of course, but breathing.

What the hell had her life become? One death after another, in a vicious circle?

Eve froze when she felt she was being watched. Her first instinct was to suddenly turn around and scream, because she was fed up with surprises by that time. However, she restrained herself, merely clenching her wrists in her lap and cracking her jaw, a movement that made the one watching her sigh.

It would be stupid to pretend she didn't know who it was. She could feel the look burning in her back. This time, at least, she knew she wasn’t smiling.

When Eve finally turned around, Villanelle was gone.

It was better that way, she knew. Would be better not look her in the eye, not draw the traces of her face for the thousandth time. It was the right thing to do, she thought. And then she remembered that she hadn't done anything right in a long time, so she got up and went after her.

Villanelle crossed the hospital in quick steps, but did not make her way out. She also knew she was being followed, so she simply dictated her way up ramps and stairs until they reached the hospital terrace. The blonde went straight up to the parapet, which beat at the height of her hips, and sat with her legs swinging out, her hands stuck in her pockets.

When Eve caught up with her, the vision almost made her faint. She remembered Kenny and how she had acquired a terrible fear of heights after him, and her fists closed again.

− Villanelle, what the hell are you doing? − Eve momentarily forgot what she was going to say, because seeing the blonde on the edge of the building was preventing her from thinking straight. Villanelle looked at her under her shoulder with a smile that did not reach her eyes.

− Hi, Eve. − Just _hi_. Like she didn't know she had company.

− Get down from there, please. − Eve approached a little, crossing her arms in front of her body to protect herself from the icy wind, but Villanelle did not move.

− Why? Are you afraid of heights? − She provoked, her body swinging slightly back and forth, as if she were lulling.

− Because that's how Kenny died. − The answer came out easy from her lips.

A shadow passed through Villanelle's face. An emotion Eve wasn't used to seeing in her honey-colored eyes. The blonde bit her lip and held her gaze for a moment, as if trying to identify another meaning in that sentence. Making up her mind, Villanelle took her hands out of her pockets and held onto the parapet, turning her body aside to pass a leg inward. She was still a little hung, as if to show that she only did what she wanted, but Eve felt safer.

− I wouldn't jump, Eve, of course. I'm not an idiot. − She smiled a little, and as Eve did not answer, she seized the moment. − But it's good to know you'd mind if I died. − The phrase didn’t come with her usual arrogant conviction, and the brunette came a little closer, avoiding looking down.

Eve obviously would care if she died. She’d wanted to kill her many times, but that didn't mean she actually wanted her dead. Something hard to understand, but it was the truth. Before answering, however, Eve needed to remove the doubt that had consumed her in the last days.

− Villanelle, did you try to kill Niko? –

− No, I wouldn't hurt him, Eve. − She didn’t hesitate, sustaining Eve's gaze. − I've had the chance, haven't I? –

− I needed to ask. − Eve leaned against the parapet, her arms still folded in front of her body, feeling more relieved than she expected. She had known from the beginning that the attack was not Villanelle's work, even when she found the note. It just didn't make sense. Why would she go to Poland to try to assassinate Niko?

They had kissed, for God's sake!

Well, _Eve_ had kissed her, but the blonde's expression when she got off the bus was priceless. And Eve believed her. She didn't know why, but believed her.

She even believed Villanelle in Rome when the blonde said she loved her, but she was too blind to give in to the feeling.

− What happened to the moustache? –

− I went to Poland to meet him and someone threw a pitchfork at him, as if it was practicing throwing from a distance, with a damn note that said ''I still got it'' tied to the handle. − Eve paused, breathing hard. − I don't know how he survived. –

Villanelle looked at the sky, rubbing her hands on each other, but she didn't look cold.

− Do you think it was The Twelve’s? − She asked vaguely, as if her thoughts were elsewhere.

− Who else would be interested in killing Niko? Obviously, it was to get to me. First Kenny, now my husband... - The blonde made a face, turning her gaze to Eve. She wanted to show some kind of solidarity for her, but the feeling just didn't come up.

− I'm going to ask Konstantin if he knows anything. − Eve opened her mouth to say she didn't need to, not least because the Russian couldn't be trusted, but she kept quiet. There was something wrong with Villanelle.

− Why are you here? − The question slipped away harshly, but the blonde only shrugged.

− I wanted to see you, Eve. − She smiled, but again the smile did not reach her eyes, and Eve finally stopped to truly look at her.

She saw the deep dark circles under her eyes, the creases on her cheeks, the strands of hair sticking to her face. The clothes were different, too. She was used to Villanelle's extravagant look, which reeked of fancy stuff, but right now she wore a denim jumpsuit that looked all patched up, as if it had been done hastily, of no apparent mark. But the main difference was the hands, one of them opening and closing quickly against her thigh, the other poking the parapet with her short nails.

Eve was trained enough in human behavior to know that Villanelle was not well. Human bevahior, yes.

− What happened to you? − This time, the question came out smoothly, showing genuine interest. The blonde compressed her lips and looked away again, an odd behavior as far as Eve knew. Because Villanelle was slow to respond, Eve decided to change the approach. − And what are you wearing? –

− My mother made it for me. − She responded by grabbing the front of the jumpsuit with both hands and swinging again in that childish manner. − Did you like it? –  
Eve made a grimace, a crease insinuating between her eyebrows. No, she didn't like it. But that wasn't the point.

− Your mother? Is she alive? − She had heard Oksana's brief story while investigating her, and the information was that her family had died in a car accident after leaving her in an orphanage. Right now, it made sense that they would have lied to her if there was already an interest in the Russian organization of recruiting her. Who better than an orphan with no bond to be trained to kill?

− Well, she was. Until yesterday. − Villanelle commented carelessly, but her accent was hard. Eve had already noticed in other opportunities that this happened when the blonde was taken by some kind of unique feeling.

\- What do you mean... − Eve started, but was interrupted with a gesture from the other.

− I don't want to talk about it. − Villanelle seemed irritated now, and stopped talking.

Eve snorted and leaned against the parapet without really realizing it, wondering if she should leave her alone. It wasn't like she owed her anything, no. But, as always, something attracted her to the assassin, and Eve didn't know how to get rid of her.

− What do you want to talk about, then? − She tried again, even softerly, and saw the blonde's shoulders give away.

\- You _kissed_ me, Eve. - Pause. − Why? –

It didn't make sense to lie to her anymore. Not when she was so vulnerable.

− Because I wish I had done this a long time ago. − Villanelle nodded, as if waiting for that answer.

− You rejected me in Rome, even after I said I loved you. You rejected me and that's why I had to shoot you. − The blonde played with the loose strands of the jumpsuit, and her hair swung gently with the icy breeze of the night. Eve let out a laugh through her nose, pushing her own hair back to frame her face.

− Are you trying to justify yourself, Villanelle? Because that's not going to work. You can't shoot me because you don't like what I said. –

− And you can't leave me and then kiss me. − For a moment, the power play between them was back, and both women held their gaze without saying any more words. If they were to continue with the charges, the night would be short.

Eve gave up first, throwing her hands up.

− All right, I'm not going to kiss you again. It was a mistake. − It wasn't true, but Eve was tired. Before she moved away, however, Villanelle jumped off the parapet and stood in front of her, pushing her against the parapet and putting her hands on it to keep Eve between her and the wall.

− This is your last chance to admit that you like me, Eve, because I'm not going to look for you again. − The blonde’s voice was low and serious, the accent still loaded, which made the other swallow dry. Very slowly, Eve raised her right hand and rested on Villanelle's cheek, repeating the gesture she had made in her home. Just as the other time, the blonde laid her face against the touch.

**There was something about how Villanelle liked to be touched that made her heart race.**

− I like you. I just… − _I don't know how to act on it_. Eve couldn't finish the sentence, because an understanding seemed to take the killer's honey-colored eyes. Unfortunately, a misunderstood.

− You think I'm just a monster. − Villanelle closed her eyes for a moment, then moved away from the touch and straightened her spine, returning to catch the jumpsuit with nervous hands.

− No! Of course not... − Eve's voice came out weak, without strength.

− Maybe that's it. I burned practically my whole family, yes. − She seemed to be talking to herself now. − _Mom_ was right. − Villanelle turned her back on Eve and began to turn towards the stairs, the wind causing her blonde hair to flutter.

− Villanelle? What are you talking about? − Eve moved after her, but she wouldn't reach her before she got to the stairs. − Oksana! − This made the blonde stop for a moment. Eve ran and stood in front of her, holding her arms.

\- Talk to me, please. − She asked, without being intimidated by the homicide look of Villanelle’s eyes and by her hands closed in fists.

− The _darkness_ , Eve. That's what I am, just like my mother. − She tried to get rid of the touch, but Eve fought to keep her in place. She was fully aware that if Villanelle wanted to take her down and kill her right there, she’d have. But not being intimidated by the difference between them was what’d made Eve get close the first time, and it wouldn't be any different now.

− You're not a monster, okay? You're... fascinating, and creative, and intelligent... and I want to know her. I really do. - Villanelle bit her cheek and peered into the other woman's eyes looking for some lie, for slippage. She had also studied human behavior in her training, so she could reproduce much of the feelings she didn't actually feel. She knew how to fake it, and she knew when they were faking it.

− Do you think you could handle the _darkness_? − The word had been swirling in her ears since Tatiana had told her not to bring her darkness home. That's all she was. A faithful and more fun reproduction of her own mother.

− I deal with mine every day, Villanelle. − The blonde narrowed her eyes, raising her arms to touch Eve's elbows. As she said nothing, the brunette sighed and continued. − I ran away from you in Rome for the wrong reasons. It doesn't really matter if you wanted me to kill that man or not, because I killed him. With my own hands. And I know... I know I'd kill again if I had to protect her, or the people I love. At the end of the day, it's not such a difficult choice. –

Taking that from her chest was extremely comforting, and Eve saw that Villanelle drank every word she said, as if she had waited for this recognition her whole life.

− What I mean is... I don't care about your _darkness_. Actually, she's the one who attracted me from the beginning. But to admit it to me is to accept... −

− That there's a monster inside you too. – Villanelle completed, directly and yet smoothly, as if she finally understood something very important. − _Wooow._ –

– Well, yeah... – Eve was momentarily unresponsive, turning her gaze to the ground, but the blonde used her index finger to lift her chin up, approaching their faces.

− Eve, you don't know _how long_ I've waited for this. − This could mean many things, but the older woman didn't get time to think when Villanelle kissed her, holding her face with both hands and almost lifting her off the ground. Eve hugged her by the waist and got lost in a firm, desperate and intense kiss that made her whole body creep.

The unexpected touch of lips while hanging from a bus seat had been something unique, which had ended up suiting both women very well.

But that kiss, full of meaning and relief and horny, was something inexplicable.

When they finally broke loose, Villanelle had a lovely smile on her face and Eve kept panting too much to think about what she was doing.

− Do you have a place to stay? She asked, and the blonde shrugged childishly. She could rent any hotel she wanted, but it wasn't like she really had a place to stay.

\- Wait for me downstairs, then. Let's go home. –

Home? _Home_. Would Villanelle belong somewhere at last?

Eve took her hand and began to lead her up the stairs, and she decided it was worth trying once more.

-.-.-.-.-

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this story in portuguese in another plataform (Spirit), so if you're brazilian and already read it, that's the reason.  
> If you came this far, thanks for reading!


End file.
